A Curse

When I close my eyes

Part of me wishes to die

When I open my eyes

Part of me is glad to be alive

Neither better

Neither worse

Sometimes it feels like

I am under a curse


If you can’t

If you can’t experience the sunshine

I will embrace it for you

If you can’t watch flowers grow

I will nurture them for you

If you can’t feel happiness

I will smile for you

If you can’t watch the stars

I will wish upon one for you

If you can’t feel love

I will love for you

I look pretty today

I look pretty today.

I. Look. Pretty. Today.

Yes pretty.

Yes, pretty damn ugly.

No wonder I am crying.

Look at me!

Just look at me!

So pretty horrific.

So pretty disgusting.

So pretty awful.

There is no need to convince myself.

I am pretty.

I am pretty damn ugly.


Brother, what more can I say?

I seem to miss you every day.

I feel empty, I feel silenced

I feel frightened.

Brother, what more can I do?

I can’t imagine any more pain to go through.

I feel lost, I feel distant

I feel I need an assistant.

Brother, is there more to see?

Or will I escape from this misery?

If only

If only I could scream with glee

Of what it means to be me

If only I could spread around

On the discoveries I have found

If only I could feel alive

Then maybe I could thrive

If only I could whisper with hope

Then I wouldn’t be on this slippery slope